Hours : Minutes : Seconds

Hi. Here I am nocturnal one, with my disruption of sleep that makes me cannot sleep till morning, lately. But I think, I'm more productive haha

Okay,  let me write about stories of the day [03/11/2018]. Yesterday, I can't sleep till morning. I was trying to sleep at 2.30am and not sleep at all, it just feels like I just close my eyes, and then I opened my eyes at 4.30am or maybe 5.00am. I decided to do my homework till 8.00pm and I was trying to sleep about 1 hour before going to campus. But, I'm not sleeping at all. I just close my eyes till 9.00pm. After it, I was taking bath. When I'm done taking bath, I saw call's pop-up from one of my bestie on my silence smartphone. There was "10 missed calls" and "1 message". I called her back as soon as possible, and...like what I thought before...It was about a bad news.

One of my friends get an accident, and on that accident, my friend passes away at the hospital. And no one there...

I can't believe it, we were just crying on the phone. And I just think about I want to be there as soon as possible. And then I was going to the hospital with my noisy girl (thankyou bey, for always there). 

After an hour's drive, we arrived at the hospital. We were going to the information center to ask where is the room of my friend. And nurse answer we have to go at UGD (Emergency room). It feels like "a hope", in thought if my friend in UGD maybe information she is passed away that I got before is incorrect. I just take my step to the emergency room and ask a nurse there. And that nurse asked me to go to another building behind emergency room.

In that building, I saw so many ambulances there, but I know there is hope. We were entering the building in front of I parked my motorcycle. I asked a nurse there, I said my friend's name who get an accident in this morning and blablabla. And the nurse said "there isn't name that you said. But wait a minute. I'll ask the information center first". And she took a phone and call someone. Just need a minute, "Patient with that name was passed away" my heart just break into pieces, I can't hold waterfall. I know she was passed away before, but I just wish there is a hope...

A nurse asked me to go to behind the ambulance park, corpse room. I said to my noisy girl, it's okay to wait on the outside (because my noisy girl can't enter that room). I watch my step. The first room is opened but not that room. The second room is opened but not that room. The third room is closed and there was a nurse that keep that room, yes that room, my friend is there.  But slowly my step feeling so heavy, my body feels like cotton, my eye can't focus, I decided to sit down for a while before into that room. In the long chair that I sit there is my vhs friend, Burhan, he just arrived.

I try to strong enough to stand up and enter that room.  Seeing there is sleeping beauty with white fabric on her body and face. Oh Allah, can I just get a miracle right now? But I know, when our leaf's name fall down, it's our turn. No matter what, time will stop. Miracle will not have a finger in the pie.

I lost one of my friend in this world, She is going first to heaven...

I told my mom about it, I'm at the hospital and blablabla. My mom calls me asap, after I texted her. She asked me "where are you? how it can be? and after a minute my mom's voice, sounds different, I know she is crying "have your lunch?" my mom asked. I told her "why are u crying mom, it's okay"  as strong as I can to not showing her that I'm crying too (My weakness whenever I see or hear my mom cry:(). From this gloomy session, I know my mom so worried about me, on another island, hundreds miles away from home by my self here. I love you mom and I do. I love you as much as I can do. Thankyou and sorry for making you crying and worried today mom.

I learned so many things today, about the relationship, about communication, about taking care of our self and another, and the important things that I learned which is about time.

Time is something that we can't guessing. Time will start and stop in the best hour, minute, and second which is we never know.

Relationship to God, Family, Bestfriend and Other people. We have to keep every relationship as well as possible. Trying to always appreciate the time with whoever you are. Because we don't even know where is the moments that will be our last moment. So keep every relationship with communication as well as possible. We can take that relationship as well as possible with taking care for each over. Stop said frequently asking "how are you" is overreacted. NO, IT ISN'T, REALLY. 

And for you, whoever lives away from home. Taking care of your self, please. Because taking care your self is not just for your self. It is for people that we love and loved us too (re:family, best friend, and others).